Friday 20 November 2015

Meditation?




Hello there snow angels,

Whilst a relatively festive blog post had been pre-planned, the weather has been absolutely furious, gales like fleeting alpacas spitting in your face... Anyhow, since that idea is postponed, a little indoor meditation sprung to mind. Admittedly this isn't a practice I often attempt, but when I have, I've found it to be surprisingly helpful.

Realistically, if you're aiming to take this up as a serious practice, then by all means I recommend taking a look at in-depth posture guides. However generally speaking, meditation does not require specific positions, locations or rituals. It can be done sitting on the sofa, standing in line, or simply atop your bed. The only recommendations are that you ensure:

                    -Your spine is relaxed, upright and not slumped.
                    -Your shoulders are free and slightly rolled back.
                    -Your head is evenly balanced and level.
                    -Your hands are supported, ie. resting on your lap or a cushion.
                    -Your face and jaw are free of all tensions, your brows relaxed.

This is purely to enable your breath to be fluent and efficient, with your muscles utterly at ease and create the feeling of being grounded. Discomfort can also, obviously, distract you from the meditation.

Concerning breathing however, it is an aspect which is perhaps the most important. This is where (oh what a surprise), mindfulness makes a sneaky little return. As it implies, being mindful of your breathing keeps your focus on that activity alone. Restricting your attention in this way, allows you to become aware of our tendency to jump from one thought to the other. Accomplishing this simple discipline brings you back to the present moment, experiencing the richness and magnetism which we often miss. Mindfulness of breathing also offers its benefits for those struggling with anxiety and agitation. Essentially, the perfect road to relaxation. (With of course the science-y advantages such as breathing focus expanding lung capacity, as a grand amount of oxygen has a positive effect on both your mental and physical state.)

Maybe with practice, you'll become so chilled that you'll float out the window and find yourself in a monastery. That'd be chipper.

If you've got the time and patience, it's a good idea to have a candle at hand. Everybody loves a dandy candle. Particularly a festive-scented one. They would promote a calmer aura and sentience throughout the room; not to mention they make it look as though you're a 'pro', supposedly.
Personally, mindlessly staring at a gentle, elegant flame as it dances with the slightest drought, is instantly soothing. Even the warmth of that natural-element is a comfort. Just be careful not to set your hair on fire though, I made that mistake...

A more adept summary of the benefits of meditation are as follows, originating from different Buddhist practices;


"Meditation is a means of transforming the mind. Buddhist meditation practices are techniques that encourage and develop concentration, clarity, emotional positivity, and a calm seeing of the true nature of things. By engaging with a particular meditation practice you learn the patterns and habits of your mind, and the practice offers a means to cultivate new, more positive ways of being. With regular work and patience these nourishing, focused states of mind can deepen into profoundly peaceful and energised states of mind. Such experiences can have a transformative effect and can lead to a new understanding of life."



And there we have it, skippedy-boop. Here's a little shameless self-promo of my fiction book: 'Journey Through The Hidden'- see previous post for more detail, please check it out, I'd be eternally grateful! Hope you have a wonderful weekend.

Love,

B x






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Saturday 14 November 2015

Writing A Novel






Hello there prancing elks,

Something rather inconceivable has recently come to pass. Something I would have ever in my wildest dreams thought would happen. Something I have long desired. Well, the title of this blog says it all. Now, before this get's all soppy, ladies and gentlemen, may I present to you, Journey Through The Hidden.

 "A college student with grave, mental struggles, Via finds herself abruptly hitting rock-bottom. Jumping from a woodland bridge, an unusual story unfolds, but did she succeed in her act of suicide? Her journey through 1800's France, encounters with influential figures such as van Gogh, and a festive adventure with the bearded man himself, may at last reveal the key to life itself. This compelling tale is inspired from the author's real experiences, with both aims of raising awareness and understanding of mental illness, and encouraging all beings of finding answers to their own path."

Essentially this book was written during the endless college breaks I had to endure, therefore it got me through my remaining year. I was either huddled tightly in the corner of the library writing pages of notes, or wrapped up on the furthest computer away from civilization typing away my thoughts. The experience allowed me to escape to another world, be consumed by Via's journey and distance myself from my own.
In fact I would go as far to say that the entire first chapter is not only based on a true experience, but also represented the average day of college-life which occurred each day. In the midst of whatever the hell my brain was thinking; that is one of the reasons this book means so much to me. It is a product of my own, in a sense, 'therapy'. I discovered a great deal about myself whilst writing it, and all the while intending to do the same to the reader.
In terms of the cover, it is illustrated/ digitally painted myself on the Galaxy Note Pro.

Copyright  © Becky Johnston
I think that the major part of what I initially aimed to inflict upon the audience is described in one of the reviews. If you totter along to the link of the book and read it for yourself, you will get the gist. It indeed delves quit deep, but that is the desired effect.
Despite having been managing the book from my bedroom throughout the week, in contrast to my usual routine I've been relatively busy- hence the lack of posts.
Anyhow, that's that quick update over and done with, please check it out if you fancy it, I would be eternally grateful.

Journey Through The Hidden- Amazon.co.uk

Journey Through The Hidden- Amazon.com

Just briefly I would like to address the recent events which have been covered on the news, #PrayForParis. It is absolutely devastating, such an inhumane and despicable act. I cannot even comprehend how those involved must be feeling. My thoughts are with every one of them.

Love,

B x

Saturday 7 November 2015

Umber




Hello there sparklers,

Due to the unfortunate melancholy; something of another expressive poem was in order. Again it's all about personal preference, take from it what you will. The interpretation depends on your own situation, perhaps if it's thought about deeply and sincerely enough, this may just lighten your perspectives. (Plus I found the need to practically splurge my thoughts and feelings somewhere.) So let's skippedy doo dah right down to the poem...


Land of raw umber, digress from the lantern of glare,
Once gallant as elk, yet soon nimble and reclusive,
Charmingly apt since rejected, not ever we compare,
Heart tainted umber, our own resort abusive,

Land of raw umber, slump via ruin or waste,
Close to sluggard seal, pelting tides to guard then lounge,
Smearing back-side atop your dearest growth, futile if chased,
Heart spoiling umber, exploit our lust to scrounge,

Land of raw umber, a hunter ascending past misty skies,
Alike focused agile owl, if shrouded then fragile and unsteady,
Endurance drove them through, yearning your star to rise,
Heart blistered umber, our surrender desires the ready,

Land of raw umber, why is all a meaningless number?
Our heart, when dry, is umber.


There we are. I would have done a good ol' saga Saturday, but with my brain currently being a splattered sprout, I gave it a miss. I think some alternate 'arty' posts are something are what I'll focus on next. Who knows? 
Also, (having posted this on Facebook and people agreeing) I've only just realized it's suicide prevention week. Reassuring though it is, this shouldn't be restricted to just on week. Surely, preventing suicide is something we should always have in mind, therefore this week is simply for 'awareness'. Nothing is more important than saving a life. Too many websites are glorifying something so terrible as the act of suicide and feeling suicidal, it only brings shame and even more withdrawal to those going through it. But meh, now I've made my meager contribution to the week I'm off to watch fireworks through the window. 
I should also mention that this blog now has an 'official' domain name, yay, wahoo, yippee. But sadly this means all previous comments have been deleted/ reset. So I would like to take this opportunity to say a huge, huge thank you to all who shared, liked and commented. You were all so lovely and it's greatly appreciated.

Love, 

B x

 

Monday 2 November 2015

Stop Travelling Backwards



Hello there prancing fawns,

Despite this being a perpetual theme running throughout this blog, the concept of staying grounded is indeed a proved benefit for each and every one of us. If the act is practiced to its fullest, it generally becomes a valuable privilege throughout our day-to-day routines. Particularly, though often evaded, those with mental illness'.
Having those abrasive, fatal moments when your entire world collapses due to our reflective thoughts of tomfoolery; kills. Essentially, when we are struggling, reflecting on our past, brutally comparing ourselves to who we used to be, only strengthens your self-hatred and in turn, impregnates a 'shitty' little goblin into your brain. This goblin, for argument's sake, we will name Norman. Below is an example of what Norman maliciously whispers in your ear whilst remaining entirely invisible.
(Click on for zoom)

It's likely we've all experienced this and that's okay, it's human nature after all. Not necessarily with the goblin of course, but with those intrusive thoughts which you cannot help but believe to be true. It is clear that perhaps in your darkest moments, looking back on the old you, does not give you determination to return to that place once again. But instead, we compare what we used to be with disgust and helplessness as we are demoralized by what we have become.
I for one am willing to admit that I endlessly cycle through these thoughts without even realizing I'm doing it. But earlier this week, it hit me. And bloody hard at that. The realization occurred during a midnight conversation with my mother. We had quite a few setbacks that morning concerning any hope of my own well-being which ultimately lead to an expected breakdown, as it would with anyone. Anyhow, as I sat curled up beside her in rather unpleasant, snotty sobbing; my life fell apart at the sudden flashback to my previous self.

'I used to be happy, bubbly, excitable and enthusiastic. I used to have friends, travel, sleepovers and laughter. I used to be fortunate enough to have people who loved me, cared not for my appearance, and believed in me. I was healthy, sporty and helpful. But most of all, I used to have a life.
Now I am the complete opposite. I lost all of that, and in turn lost any hope of returning. I am worthless, undeserving and a failure. I have not turned out how people expected me to be, and have not lived up to their expectations. I have no purpose and am a waste of a life."


Sound familiar? Well, perhaps not so specific or intense, but we've all reflected with a similar outcome. And consistently without fail, those unsettling thoughts are then wedged into our minds and stab us with the littlest of relapse. Instead, this is what we should be teaching ourselves.

'It doesn't matter who I used to be, because we are forever evolving and are effectively a different person than I was a mere minute ago. If I hadn't been through all that I had, I wouldn't be the person I am today. I have learnt empathy and sympathy. I have learnt to care with compassion, appreciate the happiness of those who surround us, and breathe with a conscience. When I look around me, the earth dances with life as my chest rises and I inhale the crisp, striking air. The value of all living organisms thrives through the senses, proving the world to be a beautiful and nurturing adventure. 
To give up, means predicting the future, and that is impossible. The future is uncertain, and I am okay with that. Because within this very moment, I am alive.'

“The moment one gives close attention to anything, even a blade of grass, it becomes a mysterious, awesome, indescribably magnificent world in itself.” – Henry Miller

It is certainly true that ourselves are improved through bad experiences. Being suicidal gives us appreciation and passion that no one should suffer as much as we had. Being isolated for a substantial amount of time gives us a sense of wonder and intrigue when approached with new relationships. Having anxiety gives us appreciation for the moments we are at peace. Having an eating disorder gives us curiosity and gratitude for food, health and for people who are able to sustain and thrive. Being psychotic or delusional gives us admiration for those who are content with their appearance, engage and can tell the difference between right and wrong. Being lost and hurt, gives us reason to continue the journey.

“Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart. Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens.” – Carl Jung

  This is why mindfulness is so essential to our lives. Not doing so allows for lost life, and lost hope. Next time you find yourself in a bad place and comparing what you used to be, just stop and breathe for a second. Take note of what you are doing and stop it from escalating any further. Think of what goodness/ positives you have gained, not what you have lost. Focus on each of your senses in the present moment and allow it to fill you with the ultimate love for what surrounds you. You deserve the now, don't waste it.

“Mindfulness is about being fully awake in our lives. It is about perceiving the exquisite vividness of each moment. We also gain immediate access to our own powerful inner resources for insight, transformation, and healing.” –  Jon Kabat-Zinn

I would also recommend a YouTube channel, Depression to Expression. Scott's videos are by far some of the best mental-health videos out there. I've been subscribed for a few years now, and many of his theories and suggestions have stuck with me ever since. No doubt his wise words, gentle and fluent communication are incredibly helpful. His perspective even inspired me to write this post. Anyhow, tidy ho'.

Love,

B x

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